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Ask Our Expert

 Pleasing Your Partner - And Our Expert Advice

Hi,
I have a problem, actually my girlfriend has! We sometimes have intercourse, but the problem is that my girlfriend feels nothing during it!! There's no pleasure for her and this is causing both of us to worry. She is 22 years old and she was a virgin when she met me, and we have had intercourse fewer than 10 times. Also I use condoms, can this problem occur because of a condom? Help me please, what should I do, or where can I find more information about my problem?

Thanx,

George

Thanks for the email George. I love email like yours. It makes me feel like we are actually do not waste out time with this website.

By writing this question it is obvious that you are clearly concerned about your girlfriend. Let her know that you care and talk to her about the situation. For many women there are different factors present when engaging in sexual activity. She may be feeling a myriad of different emotions while you are having sex with her.

Concentrate first on talking about how you both are feeling at the time.

For many women sex can be intimidating or stressful. She may be worried about her performance, or feel guilty or ashamed about sex. These are issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible. Having intercourse before talking about these issues could only make the problem worse.

If you have talked about all issues or concerns present in the relationship and the problem still occurs, there are other courses of action to take.

First, the size. Your penis size is not important, but count. If your are 5 feet tall and she is 6.2, if your penis size is smaller than average, and her vagina bigger than average, and or her clitoris small or hiding,  than you have a lot of work to do. You have to work on your penis size and on your love making skills. You can read what women said about penis size here.

sperm volume
Second, many women are not directly stimulated by intercourse alone. Together the two of you may need to explore different ways of stimulating her besides through intercourse alone. Since you are her first sexual partner, you need to realize that she may not know what sexual activities are most pleasurable for her yet. You are the lucky person that gets to help her figure this out! Perhaps focusing on foreplay will increase her excitement level.

There are four phases of sexual response - excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Excitement is where the body first begins to respond to stimuli, this could be a massage, kissing, touching, etc.

Plateau is the time from excitement to orgasm, orgasm is short and lasts only a few moments, and resolution is the time after orgasm, when all body functions return to normal.

The time for you and your girlfriend to concentrate on is the plateau phase. Different people need different stimulation to reach orgasm, the key is finding out what each person needs. A good way for your girlfriend to learn what stimulates her is through touch - either masturbation or with your help. You can find more masturbation info here.

All of these activities can be enjoyed by both parties and can be just as fun as intercourse!

Take the time to talk and then take the time to enjoy each other. For many women the pleasure is not in the intercourse alone, it’s in the fun before the actual intercourse!

Also you might reach the orgasm to early. It might happen, you are already at the top, and she did not even start to clime up to the hill. You should hold back your horses, take her to the top first and take your time after to reach the top... How? You might want to check out the Ultimate Sex Guide for more information. You will find there everything that you need to know about love making.

I hope it helped a little,

Peter

My wife and I like swingers sex stories and thinking and talking about swinging a lot. However she is NOT inclined to "open" our marriage. She has said that she is worried that I might find "better" and leave her, or, vice versa.  
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