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I need to have orgasm... again
The next email came from a 29 years old married lady, the subject line was: I
need to have orgasm. According to the email she have never had vaginal orgasm.
Apparently lately she doesn't have any kind of orgasm at all.
My husband and I used to have a lot of sex. We screwed each others days
and nights, almost anywhere and anytime. We used to play erotic games that ended
up in Marathon sex, often for hours and hours. It was hot and erotic and great.
The life was nice he was happy and I was even happier.
I guess after 5 years of steamy hot and erotic married life, the honeymoon is
over. When we having sex I feel like a third class prostitute or an escort.
He kisses me, touches me, turns himself up and across the finish line and I am
"miles away". Can't even get wet enough down there, no problem he lubes me up...
and bang me for few minutes and the game is over. Somehow I understand him, he
should enjoy himself.
As his wife it is my responsibility to serve his sexual need, because if I
don't, someone else will, however this leaving me feeling slightly used most of
the times. Well I am not a piece of meat from the meat market; I love him, very
much, so "no orgasm with out love" can't be a problem. Actually in my case
we are in love, we have some sex and zip orgasm... I don't mind if I don't have orgasm every
time. Sex is fun with out orgasm too, but sometimes I need to have one. Is it to
much to ask from a husband?
I've told him I don't orgasm vaginally, and never in my life had orgasm
just from Intercourse. I need more, but he doesn't really believe. I want a
loving monogamous relationship; I don't think I can handle it with out orgasm too
long. Yeah of course I masturbate, but the vibrator and a real penis is not the
same. I know the vibrator never get tired, but I am just 29 years old, I don't
want to use just my packet racket the next 20 years or so...
What can I do?
D.
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that you have stopped doing? Do it again. As the years pass by, we are
changing. What was fun 5 years ago, mightn't be fun today, so you have to seat
down with your husband and talk with him. It sounds like you need to talk about
sex in general, what you enjoy and what you're missing.
Maybe you should find some new activity to spice things up. Have you tried
something like giving each other full body massages, romantic diner, candlelit
baths, maybe erotic movies, or whatever works. Talk about pass sexual activity
in sexy lingerie might be a great start. However he has to understand
there is a problem and the problem need to be solved.
And sorry to say that, but it might not just him. Your email subject is "I need
to have an orgasm". Orgasm is a sensation and nobody can give it you. It is not
something like here is my orgasm, you can have it... You have to work to achieve
it. You have to help to your partner, you have to teach him, how can he turn you
on. What kinds of things excite you? Lather, latex, lotion, or you like it on
the hard way, let him know.
Before he starts to penetrate you, he has to get you aroused. You wrote it:
"Can't even get wet enough down there". You can't, because you are
not aroused. When you are aroused, you nipples hard, your clit getting
bigger and vaginal lubrication begin. There are millions of nerves in your
genital area, all of them connected to your brain. Your heart working harder,
deliver more blood to your genital area (this enlarge your clit) which will
cause faster heartbeat. You used to achieve this a few years back with your
Once you are aroused, he can start to perform intercourse, if he is aroused.
An aroused men penis is hard, so there is no way to misjudging his status. There
are a lot more to know about orgasm, but if you teach him just this first step,
then the next step might come.
About Vaginal Orgasm
A woman's orgasm can be vaginal, G Spot, clitoral, and anal orgasm. Well, some
women are able to reaching orgasms by riding a bike, lucky them. Probably they fit into the
clitoral orgasm's category anyway, but I am not talking about them.
Approximately
85% of the women can't achieve orgasm only from vaginal penetration. Most of
them climaxes with a combination of 2 or more of the above. For example
with "G spot
targeted" sex positions, she can have vaginal orgasm, but it is maybe G
spot orgasm... Also there is a way to spice sex up with or oral sex, which might
end up in clitoral orgasm. What about sex toys? A good sex toy can make a wonder
these days. Your sexual activities depending on
your erotic fantasy and if your fantasy is rich, you will find millions of ways
to spice marital sex life up.
There is a website, it is loaded with sex advices for men. They have
everything that a man need to know about sex, including how to turn a woman on,
3 dimensions turning photos of love making positions, videos with women
about what they are looking for in a good sex partner, etc. You name it, and if it is sex
related, they have it. You should visit that website too, because there are a lot of useful
sex related info for ladies also.
Remember, communication is the key to have great sex life. Your man is might
be your husband, he is the man in our house, but he can't read your mind. Let
him know how can he please you the best!
I hope it helped a bit.
Peter
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